There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Randomize
