my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
