And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
