You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
