Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize