i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
