May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
