I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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