when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
