So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize