if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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