To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
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This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
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He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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