you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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