btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
