that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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