I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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