No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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