were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
