Christians are straight up FREAKS
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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