haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
