Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
