don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
