Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
is wine microwaveable?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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