i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
