Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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