I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
