apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
