you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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