Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
