Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
