I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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