Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
