I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
