mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
