Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
