The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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