You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
