bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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