there's paper in my vomit.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
