I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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