nut hugger
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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