Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
