You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
