We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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