I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sext me about skeletons
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
