How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
