Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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