How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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