butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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