all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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