i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
