I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
