K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
