What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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