We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
