Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Damn victory sex feels great
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
