We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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