Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
