I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
