"it" just moved
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize