This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I FOUND THE LEGS
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
