i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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